Ep. 292: Magic Mushroom Mania
A psychic told me something strange. A week later, the medicine confirmed it.
I did another psilocybin ceremony. This is my fifth one, and I'm still integrating what happened. I'm recording this from my backyard because I couldn't imagine sitting at my desk and talking about this. Something feels different this time. My heart feels like it's literally expanding.
Here's the backstory.
I left corporate at 48 and started completely from scratch. I was burned out in ways I couldn't even articulate. Someone I trusted recommended psychedelic-assisted therapy, and I was skeptical. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I never even did mushrooms in college with lava lamps and whatever. But I was seeking. And I was in pain.
My first facilitators were a husband-and-wife team. The experiences themselves were fine. Beautiful, even. But something always felt off about the husband. I blamed myself. I thought I was triggered. Turns out the whole operation is now wrapped up in civil suits. Allegations of abuse. The thing I felt in my body was real.
That's the cautionary tale: if you pursue this, vet your facilitators hard. Ethics matter. The vulnerability of this space is real. People can and do take advantage.
Now I work with Mira and Alex at Entheo Temple. They're ministers of a non-dogmatic religious organization. They don't interpret your experience for you. They don't get too close. They create a container and let you have your own journey. Every single detail is thought of. They source transparently. They consent before any physical contact. It's the way it should be.
A week before this ceremony, I was at an event in Tucson. A renowned psychic medium came up to me and said he'd been looking for me for two days but couldn't find me. I laughed. I'm loud. Bright lipstick. Everywhere. How could he not find me?
He pulled out his notebook. At the top, circled and asterisked, it said: It's safe for me to be seen.
And then he told me the thing that landed: a rabbit appeared as we were talking. My last name is Hare. The moment it was seen, it ran. I knew exactly what he meant.
The ceremony itself.
This was an emotional dose, not a heroic one. I'd done a heroic dose last year and it was uncomfortable. This time I just wanted to go in with openness.
Three words kept repeating: strong, kind, supported. I didn't know if that was a confirmation or a blueprint. Maybe both.
Then I went outside to the screened-in porch. I lay down and felt something shift. I felt a line form in my mind. The opening of a book.
And I put my hand on my belly.
My belly has been through a lot. A C-section. A myomectomy. IVF. A botched tummy tuck that led to necrosis, skin death, three surgeries to fix, and a month wearing a wound vac to work in corporate. I've had body dysmorphia and orthorexia. That part of me is scarred and knotty. I usually dissociate from it. When I touch it by accident in the shower, I cry automatically.
This time I held it. I let the sadness wash through like clouds. It was the sweetest kind of honoring.
The message: it's safe for me to be seen.
I'm visible. That's not the issue. I'm on camera all the time. I don't struggle with confidence. But I do struggle with letting people get close. With being truly known. With calling someone when I'm sad. With asking for help.
I'm 51 now. I started over at 48. Of course I feel behind. And I also feel more aligned and more possible than I've ever been in my life. Both things are true.
This episode is me practicing what the medicine told me. It's safe for me to be seen. And you're seeing me.
If this resonates, share it. If you want to explore plant medicine yourself, DM me and I'll point you in the right direction. And if a podcast is something you've been kicking around and want help building, book a free clarity call at allisonhare.com/freecall.
xo, Allison
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